OUT OF AFGHANISTAN
We took the long the way out of Kabul to Bagram, cutting through dirt alleyways with wrecked armored vehicles. The main roads were cluttered with donkeys, bicycles, jingle trucks and assorted Toyotas.
One of my friends drove me. He is a former Special Forces soldier that does sort of odd jobs I can’t talk about. He has a big beard and looks sort of like a really buff bearded Jim Morrison.
I’ve run across a strange and deadly mix of people in Afghanistan. I wouldn’t have expected anything less. I never found a single decent woman here. But so it goes. Everyone is in it for the money, or some other more bizarre crusade.
Where do I fit in? Well, I came here as an embedded journalist, then bartended, consulted, and did other odd jobs. And then went back to the war, my fickle mistress that bleeds more than once a month. I never made any money, that’s for sure.
Last week, I was smoking hash with a member of the Afghan Parliament. Then I tried to pick up his girlfriend. Whoops. I was subtle, so I didn’t have a big scene about it. Plus we had some work related things to discuss. He is a pretty cool man, educated in the US. I’ve had my eye on his lady friend for a while. I call her Dove’s doppelganger, cause she looks like Dove, a friend of mine from Burning Man. We were at Area 51 last year. I sure know how to take the ladies out and show them a good time.
Someone told me that Playboy magazine listed my blog as something to read. I confirmed this today. “Shooter, Gonzo journalist in Iraq.” Well, I promise to keep you entertained at least twice a week with blogs.
I also was found by an agent, so I have get a book together. I am writing this from Bagram Air Field, yet another area conquered by Alexander the Great. My flight to Iraq leaves in the morning, INSHALLAH. From there, I proceed to Tallil, where the ancient city of UR is on the US Base, as is the great Ziggurat and Abraham’s tomb. I was stationed in Tallil in 2004 when I was temporarily employed by the DOD.
Next week, chopper up to Baghdad, then take a fixed wing to Mosul in the Northwest of Iraq. I will be writing about Indiana National Guard there. And after a few days there, I head back to Baghdad and chopper down to FOB Iskan in the triangle of death for 2 weeks in August.
I like hanging out at Bagram. I am at the Tilman USO http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/13901534/
Pat Tilman was the football player that enlisted and was shot by friendly fire here in Afghanistan. They have wi-fi and free coffee, so I am all over it. Also, they have two guitars you can play and lots of books and movies, and very comfortable chairs and couches. It’s just across from the PAX terminal. Too.
I find staying here at Bagram to be relaxing. Kabul, for me, can be a non-stop party. Booze and whoring. The Chinese run brothels, which I have mentioned in previous blogs. Many have been raided and shut down, but there are a few that pay the right people and stay in business. It’s not like my state of Nevada, where they have lot of brothels, and they are legal.
I am so used to war that the problems in Israel and Lebanon don’t seem that bad. The Israeli’s seem to get away with some shit. When they grabbed 2 US soldiers last month in Baghdad, we didn’t blow up Iraq. We already blew it up. I guess it would be counter productive to blow up a country we are building up. I found this candid transcript of Bush at the G 8 to be worthy of THE ONION, but sadly, it is true.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/13901534/
I have an article coming out in Southern Indiana this week and another in Seattle. I still have a bunch more to write about. I should do that tonight. If only I get paid. I can get published, but the check is another story.
I am down to my last $20, if anyone can contribute to the ghetto journalist’s funds. That is the best part of being an embedded journalist. I get to live and eat for free. I just have to stay out of the way of the bullets.
By the way, my laptop is on its last leg, if anyone has a dusty old one laying around. I need USB, at least, and all the keys working. I’ve spilled so much booze on my keyboard, I lost the “N” and the “G” but I did remap the keyboard. The screen is broke, and the DVD doesn’t work. But I still recommend Toshiba. It’s been around the world 3 times in 2 years and had the shit kicked out of it more than 5 times.
The soldiers in Iraq get better food, for sure. Although this Tilman USO is probably the coolest thing next to the Canadian journalists office/barracks in Kandahar. They even get beer. Probably the best embed I did was with the Italian Air Force in Herat. Pizza and beer on Saturday nights. The guys I was with got blown up by a car bomb the day after I left. They lived, but that sure as hell was a party foul.
Afghanistan is like a lot of developing nations, herds of sheep in the street, farm animals and SUVs sharing a lane with an armored convoy . . . but the death thing is always there. That donkey might be loaded with explosives. That handcart might kill everyone around it. This is the kind of stuff that happened while I was here. It’s worse than when the Taliban were shooting RPGs at us. Well, at night, it sucks.
I probably will not return to Afghanistan until this fall. I need to find a place with better women, beer and red wine. I haven’t had a good woman, or red wine in a long time.
One of my friends drove me. He is a former Special Forces soldier that does sort of odd jobs I can’t talk about. He has a big beard and looks sort of like a really buff bearded Jim Morrison.
I’ve run across a strange and deadly mix of people in Afghanistan. I wouldn’t have expected anything less. I never found a single decent woman here. But so it goes. Everyone is in it for the money, or some other more bizarre crusade.
Where do I fit in? Well, I came here as an embedded journalist, then bartended, consulted, and did other odd jobs. And then went back to the war, my fickle mistress that bleeds more than once a month. I never made any money, that’s for sure.
Last week, I was smoking hash with a member of the Afghan Parliament. Then I tried to pick up his girlfriend. Whoops. I was subtle, so I didn’t have a big scene about it. Plus we had some work related things to discuss. He is a pretty cool man, educated in the US. I’ve had my eye on his lady friend for a while. I call her Dove’s doppelganger, cause she looks like Dove, a friend of mine from Burning Man. We were at Area 51 last year. I sure know how to take the ladies out and show them a good time.
Someone told me that Playboy magazine listed my blog as something to read. I confirmed this today. “Shooter, Gonzo journalist in Iraq.” Well, I promise to keep you entertained at least twice a week with blogs.
I also was found by an agent, so I have get a book together. I am writing this from Bagram Air Field, yet another area conquered by Alexander the Great. My flight to Iraq leaves in the morning, INSHALLAH. From there, I proceed to Tallil, where the ancient city of UR is on the US Base, as is the great Ziggurat and Abraham’s tomb. I was stationed in Tallil in 2004 when I was temporarily employed by the DOD.
Next week, chopper up to Baghdad, then take a fixed wing to Mosul in the Northwest of Iraq. I will be writing about Indiana National Guard there. And after a few days there, I head back to Baghdad and chopper down to FOB Iskan in the triangle of death for 2 weeks in August.
I like hanging out at Bagram. I am at the Tilman USO http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/13901534/
Pat Tilman was the football player that enlisted and was shot by friendly fire here in Afghanistan. They have wi-fi and free coffee, so I am all over it. Also, they have two guitars you can play and lots of books and movies, and very comfortable chairs and couches. It’s just across from the PAX terminal. Too.
I find staying here at Bagram to be relaxing. Kabul, for me, can be a non-stop party. Booze and whoring. The Chinese run brothels, which I have mentioned in previous blogs. Many have been raided and shut down, but there are a few that pay the right people and stay in business. It’s not like my state of Nevada, where they have lot of brothels, and they are legal.
I am so used to war that the problems in Israel and Lebanon don’t seem that bad. The Israeli’s seem to get away with some shit. When they grabbed 2 US soldiers last month in Baghdad, we didn’t blow up Iraq. We already blew it up. I guess it would be counter productive to blow up a country we are building up. I found this candid transcript of Bush at the G 8 to be worthy of THE ONION, but sadly, it is true.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/13901534/
I have an article coming out in Southern Indiana this week and another in Seattle. I still have a bunch more to write about. I should do that tonight. If only I get paid. I can get published, but the check is another story.
I am down to my last $20, if anyone can contribute to the ghetto journalist’s funds. That is the best part of being an embedded journalist. I get to live and eat for free. I just have to stay out of the way of the bullets.
By the way, my laptop is on its last leg, if anyone has a dusty old one laying around. I need USB, at least, and all the keys working. I’ve spilled so much booze on my keyboard, I lost the “N” and the “G” but I did remap the keyboard. The screen is broke, and the DVD doesn’t work. But I still recommend Toshiba. It’s been around the world 3 times in 2 years and had the shit kicked out of it more than 5 times.
The soldiers in Iraq get better food, for sure. Although this Tilman USO is probably the coolest thing next to the Canadian journalists office/barracks in Kandahar. They even get beer. Probably the best embed I did was with the Italian Air Force in Herat. Pizza and beer on Saturday nights. The guys I was with got blown up by a car bomb the day after I left. They lived, but that sure as hell was a party foul.
Afghanistan is like a lot of developing nations, herds of sheep in the street, farm animals and SUVs sharing a lane with an armored convoy . . . but the death thing is always there. That donkey might be loaded with explosives. That handcart might kill everyone around it. This is the kind of stuff that happened while I was here. It’s worse than when the Taliban were shooting RPGs at us. Well, at night, it sucks.
I probably will not return to Afghanistan until this fall. I need to find a place with better women, beer and red wine. I haven’t had a good woman, or red wine in a long time.
posted by Schaber at 2:13 PM
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